Tag: Thoughts

Dreams Matter

Akarsh was walking on the road with his mother in the warm afternoon. The sun was spewing the UV rays like sprinklers spraying water everywhere, making sure everything in vicinity gets some radiation.

Its a pretty normal noon, dogs are trying to find a comfortable place to sleep in, some people trying to catch a bus for their offices, playschool students seemingly happy to get back to their parents, the pride of parenthood showing up on parents faces. The street kids running half naked towards the nearby lake. The shopkeepers cleaning up and loitering on the streets. The cars going at 40kmph on the narrow roads creating ruckus at an ear-deafening level. Akarsh makes a mental note of everything as he reaches home.

While going to bed, he asked his mom, “Mom, why do people throw garbage on the streets?”
His mother replied “Beta, they are just lazy people. You please go to sleep.”
“But they can keep a plastic bag with them na, if they are too lazy?”
“Its not that simple beta”
“But…”
“Okay tell me what superhero power you would want to teach them a lesson.”, she cut him off.
“I would become Flash and would go back in time and keep repeating the past till they don’t throw the trash in the bins”, Akarsh said giddily.

The mother smiled; half proud of her son’s passion and half on the ignorance of the idea of paradox of time-travel that her son was fathoming.

She listened to the mumbling of her child as he carried on the idea and eventually slept.

Akarsh woke up to a voice calling his name. The voice came from a long distance that he knew he couldn’t trace. The voice asked him “What is making you anxious?”

“It’s the people” said Akarsh in a muffled voice.
“Hahaha..you have to be a little more specific on that.”, said the voice grinning loudly.

“Why do people throw their garbage on the streets? Why don’t they understand its a moral duty to keep your area clean”

The voice culminated into a shadowy figure and came close to him.

“I am tired of dropping hints to them. Tell me if you have any good idea.”

Akarsh whispered something into the shadow ears.

Next day, Akarsh walked around with grinny face. Everywhere he saw, it was so clean. The half naked children were still running to the dirty pond. The dogs still couldn’t find a warm place to sleep. The ear deafening cars were still a big trouble. He thought to himself, atleast one thing got cured. We will work for other problems some other day.

“Look mom, its so clean today. No garbage, everything either in the dustbins or in the ‘houses’.”, he giggled.

“How did this happen?”, mom thought loud enough in order to make Akarsh answer.

“I asked the ‘voice’ to turn the garbages into 10 rupees note for few minutes”

They continue walking the road as Akarsh is singing happily and his mom scratching her head.

Image Courtesy: Google Images

 

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Mumbai Diaries – Part 2(The One with the lasertag match)

“Where’s our beer? The service here is crap” asked Nauman.
“Just like the bus service here. Man, would you believe that it took me 2 hours to cover the stretch of 8 kms. In my city, it would take me 20 mins and a cigarette break only”, chuckled Karan.
“You want to talk about traffic??? I was nearly fried, stuck between two BEST buses.” cried Atush.
“You could have used your AC” said Gaurav.
“Remember what we did last time we were drunk?” replied an angry Atush.
“Oh yeah, we left the car and AC running on the highway with windows open.” chuckled Gaurav and started laughing hysterically, but had to immediately stop as Atush started to pick up the fork in anger. “Nature’s call bro, can’t avoid!”
“The battery got so damaged that my father said if I use AC again, he will hack my account and will post a #supportJNU status to teach me a lesson.”
“Oooo that’s cruel.” everyone tried to suppress their laughter.
“Abe let’s change the topic. You won’t believe what happened at the station…” said Nauman.
“I thought, it will be more of a change.” interjected Karan.
“But this is interesting…”
“Yaar, its Mumbai, these things keep happening.”

Image Coutesy: Google Images

“Yeah, let’s leave up the redundant traffic talks and tell me with the show of hands, who is up for a game of Lasertag” said an enthused Atush raising his hand expecting a string of high fives from all parts of the table.

“Dude, no way I am going back in there”, said Gaurav explaining everyone’s dropped shoulders.
“Don’t you remember the carnage we conceded last time?” said Nauman
“Get over it man, we lost it big time. That girl single handedly beat our team” added Karan
“And that is why we should go and get our self-respect back.”
“Man, people find romances in weird places these days”, said Karan understanding the situation now.
“Ohh, our man has got a soft spot for the young lady” exclaimed Karan.
“Its not like that, I just love competition and yeah she is now one.”
“Then we have got to go and get our man his girl” everyone roared.

They had this new energy inside coming, injected by the things shown in the movies. When its time to impress a competition, everything falls into place and nothing can get you down. That was the scene when they entered the arena, ready to crush anyone fighting against them.

20 mins later(outside the lasertag arena)

Everyone returned with dropped shoulders, lowered to a new level.
“Well there is 200 bucks and a girl I would never see again” said Atush.
“Chill out man! You did come second. Thank God she was in my team.” said Karan.
“I think she was cheating” concluded Atush.
“Excuse me?”
They looked back with shocking eyes. It was the girl that had beat Atush and his team.
They still stared at her like the star troopers looked at a Jedi before getting cut in half.
“Did you really think you could win by making such a dumb strategy? Who leaves the base undefended?”
“I thought…. I would!” said Atush stuttering. Although scared, he was really impressed by the passion with which she was talking about the game. “Damn! You are so cool”, he imagined himself saying.
After completing the virtual nuptials, he finally muttered, “What are you doing outside your arena. Go depress some souls.”
This time she hesitated.
“Oh I came here to give these. These are congratulatory coupons given to the players who are just a little short of my high-score. It gives you some special privileges.” She said winking.
“I will beat your score someday. I will…”
“Huh! In hundred years!” she cut him off.
“The expression is ‘In a thousand years’!” corrected Atush.
“Well that explains why you being such a girl.”

She turned to leave and shouted in anger “There is a number mentioned in the back! Call it if you have any doubts.”
The three of them were in disarray, as they didn’t get what just happened here. They were astounded with the intensity that this girl shouted at Atush. They looked at a supposedly embarrassed Atush, but he looked serene and yet playful in his expression. He gave a wicked smile.
“So, her name is Akriti.”

 

To Be Continued…

 

Click Here for the next part.

 

 

 

Mumbai Diaries – Epilogue (The One with the Closure)

He came back to her, bruised and exhausted. She wondered this can’t be real…it wasn’t, but it felt so real.
He could see the pain and love in her eyes, but there was something missing beyond his comprehension. There were no tears. He asked “How have you been”. She hugged him, a hug firm but hesitating one, a tender one yet corruptible.
The distance between them had put them in a position where both were trying to understand each other, just looking at each other, words not required between them, they never were necessary. She thought could this be the reason for putting distance between them. Could something so beautiful once, be destroyed by a mere words; or the lack of it?

Suddenly the pain seemingly felt physical, she thought about the unspoken dreams that she had dared to imagine, the dream of a life adulterated by no one; the only life she could imagine since their meeting 3 years ago. Fighting the world seemed like a formality, when they joined forces.

Image Courtesy: Google Images
 “Does it have to be so hard? Doesn’t this pain makes you realize that what we have is real and its a mistake to go apart?” he asked again.
 “The pain not only makes it real, but reminds that it is not meant to be” she replied.

That hit him hard.

 “Shouldn’t you be happy that what was not meant to be is not happening and you got rid of it.”

“I wish things were that simple.”

 He went numb.

She spoke, “What we had was not love”

 “We had love. But unfortunately love is not enough these days. Maturity is required as well.”

She chuckled “Maturity! Isn’t it an overtly used term these days. Blaming everything on it. When it comes to adventure and shenanigans, everyone seeks immaturity, but otherwise maturity is required. I am beginning to think that immaturity was what kept us together, in fact led us towards each other…”.

 “What?” he cut her off.

“Yeah! How else would you explain us. We are so different from each other. Our interests don’t match. We are like two sides of coin, never destined to meet each other. On some level, we should have known that this day was bound to come.”

 “Well, if you put it like that, it sure seems the explanation. But it seemed easy that time and looked like our difference somehow were connecting us.”

“Well, that was our infatuated mind taking over maturity.”

 “I understand now” he sighed, dropping his shoulders. “But how are you okay going forward with this?”

“I think I am being mature now”, she smiled. He smiled back.

 “But tell me this, how do I get closure?”

“Ha, never the one to shy away from the technical terms.”

 “How else to prove I am different!”

“Closure is nothing but accepting that there is no ‘us’ anymore and being brave enough to imbibe that.”

“Like being happy for you and future?”

“No you fool, you don’t have to feel anything for me anymore…be as apathetic as you can. If you care, you are only hurting yourself.”

“It will be the toughest thing to do…”

“Me too”

“Who would have thought not caring would be this tough….”

“It is tough when you have promised ‘Thousand years’ to each other”, she tried to joke, but the gazing intensity of him melted anything that was calm inside her.

“Yeah, a thousand years” his words carried something venomous that even shook the nothingness in her.

Suddenly she felt lighter. The cloudy dust that had shrouded everything seemed to be clearing out and she could sense this from within. The heaviness that his remembrance brought was felt no more and she could un-shackle herself easily.

Atlast she woke up with a smile. After an array of dreamless nights, she leveraged the all important lesson that would catapult her towards an ordeal free world.
She can be herself again, completed after a long time.

This dream had done the job much better than her own consciousness could ever do.

“Thanks for ‘the thousand years’ and I am coming back”, she mumbled as she smiled her way back to sleep.

 

Mumbai Diaries – Part 1(The One with the Introduction)

Its a friday evening. 4 friends(Atush, Gaurav, Nauman, Karan) were talking in their Andheri office about how they never went on a trip, where there would be only friends, booze and carelessness. One of them, say Gaurav gave the idea ‘Lets go for a trip tomorrow to Alibaug by ferry. Everyone seemed excited, everyone looked onboard until Atush explained the plan, ‘So, I have heard that one has to take ferry at Churchgate at 7.30 AM as its very busy there.
Atush started to calculate loudly, ‘7.30 means, we will have to reach the place by 6.30, which means I will have to start from 4.30 in the morning, for which I will have to wake up at 2.30 to prepare myself, for which I have to leave office by 12.30 today.
Then they all looked at the clock, it was 11.30.
‘If I start now, I will make it to the ferry at 6.30’, Atush said.
Everyone’s face saddened. ‘Dude, leave it please’ Gaurav said dropping his shoulders.
‘Lets plan for a Sports Bar then’, Nauman advised.
‘Yeah’ everyone cheered.

 

That was life in Mumbai, where the most plausible hangout place, ironically was the office itself. But these guys were going to learn it the hard way.

So the next morning, Atush started by his car very early, infact earlier than everybody as he wanted to surprise his friends that he is not a late comer everytime. Gaurav and Nauman lived in the same area, so they were coming together via the very famous and reliable local trains. Karan had to come by bus as he lived in central line and the destination was in western line, so it didn’t make a lot of sense to take local and change it again. Gaurav & Nauman reached local train station at dadar and the intricate and intertwined queue was nearly the length of train itself. Gaurav & Nauman went for different lines, for obvious reasons. After fighting off the counter-guy for ‘change’, Gaurav comes off victorious and now they move to the platforms.

Karan starts from his home to the nearest bus-stop. Just as he is about to reach the stop, he sees his bus leaving. Karan runs a little, but in vain. He comes back to the stop cursing his luck about the bus timings. He looks at his watch, there is still a lot of time. Little does he know that Mumbai traffic makes you pay for every missed bus.

Atush starts his engine along with the music playing. He still is superexcited about the virtual get-together of the 4 Mumbai friends.
Well that is Mumbai, where meeting of a complete group is so rare that once a group accomplishes a full-show, it is quickly dubbed as a reunion.
Atush still is smelling like his deo and revs up his engine to full speed from his home. His excitement takes a full U-turn as he joins the auto and car lines crawling up at 20 kmhr. His mind quickly goes into calculation of 20km at 20kmph mode.

Image Coutesy: Google Images

Gaurav & Nauman are very close by their station. The train nearly stops at their station and just when they are happily stepping down on the platform, they are greeted by a rush of Virar heading commute, which is nothing less than the Kumbh visitors, ready to kill just for the sake of touching their destination. Nauman somehow makes it to the platform feeling violated, when he realizes Gaurav hasn’t yet made it yet. He shouts for Gaurav, hearing his faint voice amongst the shouts of ‘Pude station! Malad(Please don’t forget to add the irritating tone as well)!’.He tries to make out what Gaurav is shouting, he hears ‘BC….. is that my station?’. He thinks hard but it doesn’t make a lot of sense to him, so he decides to wait at the station for Gaurav.
As he turns around disappointed and kicking dust, he sees a girl who is nervously eyeing him. He smiles as the train leaves the station. He had no intentions of reaching to the Sports Bar now.

To Be Continued…

Click Here for the next part.

 

Deciding Passions!


HOW TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO IN LIFE?
Someone recently asked me this question and it got me in a tizzy. Isn’t life supposed to be easy? Why decide on life’s rhetoric questions?
But as it turns out, the world is not too kind to accept a person who doesn’t know where he will be after 5 years. The world seeks visionaries who can command and take us forward.
I believed I accepted this too. But after a lot of thinking, I now have a different take on this.
In my opinion, asking this question isn’t the way to go. Finding what you want for real, is not an obligation, rather it’s a baggage. I would rather concentrate on seeking what I like. There are hobbies and there is passion. The difference between them and the importance they hold should be known by all.
Ideally, the thing that you are most passionate about should be the way to go (and an answer to this question too). But life is more complicated than that. So, a major prerequisite is to decide priorities.
If your priority is money and fame in future, then you may need a plan to move ahead. Strategy would be required as it’s hard to satiate since there is no end to the accumulated wealth.
However, if one’s aim is happiness, then there is no need for all the hoopla. Just rely on your passion, it will get you home.
Difference between aim and hobby in this context is that aim is one or set of hobbies for which one is passionate upto that extent as Johny Bravo was passionate about his looks.
Aims in our life keep us focused sharply while our hobbies keep us stable. A synergy of both is a necessary prerequisite to a happy life. Well, not exactly life, but they keep us satisfied while still wanting for more in a sweet way.
Seek what you like rather than answering a much vaguer question, finding answer to which is typically hard to find even for the mature ones, let alone a confused teenager.
Life is really full of possibilities, if you have the strength to believe so.

Allah(ke)abad!

Allahabad, a city that every country deserves, but not the one it may need right now. While Allahabad is an excellent city per se, but has been clouded by some very unfortunate mishappenings. The wrath of bhaiyas of Allahabad still enounces on my mind even when I am 356 kms away from it. How a city welcomes a guest greatly defines a city. Allahabad welcomed me with dahi-jalebi and introduced me to the ever-tasty bun-omelette, which even after four years of continuous eating remains a favourite day-starting breakfast.

WHAT I WOULD MISS!
The discussions over bun-omelette and tea in the morning as well as evening. The serenity of Saraswati ghat was one I would crave a lot. Some destinations leave an everlasting footprints in your minds; Saraswati ghat is one such place. The people of Allahabad are also very versatile in giving opinions(reminds me of Gorakhpur, but Allahabad is a tad violent :p). If you are even a little interested in politics, this is a place to be. You never know, you may get acquainted by a future minister of state. Giving opinion boldly, come what may, is in the blood of an east UP person and Allahabad kinds of leads in that trait.
Being in the center of independence fight, gave this city a gift of great historic significance. The Azad Park commemorates Chandrashekhar Azad’s martyrdom. While the Sangam area and Naini bridge adds to the aesthetics of the place.

WHAT I WOULDN’T MISS!
Ofcourse the young successors of Indian politics, the student leaders…the most feared species in whole of Allahabad. Want people to concede to your demands, call the species; want to take revenge from someone who wasn’t giving you a pass on the road, call the species; don’t want to study today, call the species in havoc mode; want to get even with the professor for his tyrant ways, call them. From the innocuous thelawalas to the helpless VCs, they assert their authority everywhere.
Being crammed in the auto-rickshaws comes next in the list. You are living in the city, your girlfriend has called you to meet at this great restaurant, you did your hair, applied gel, worked on it for God knows how long, put on your best set of clothes and go to makeshift auto-stand feeling great about your life when suddenly an auto comes at the station, with the conductor yelling ‘tation-tation’ (in case you missed, its station with a silent ‘s’), you enter the auto and two sweat drenched aunties block the exit to the auto. You are thinking it’s just 10 minutes away, but the auto-wala will stop at the place where the scorching sun shines the most and make you pay for all the past life sins. He will wait for more unlucky souls, until his auto looks like a scene where we are attempting the Guinness Book of World Record for cramming the most persons in an auto.
Another interesting thing is that Allahabadis have adopted this system, they don’t mind sharing that seat with three more broad-assed individuals. Even if he gets one of his buttocks in place, he won’t complain.
But overall, Allahabad invites you and takes care of you if you adapt the city well, that’s an assurity I can give, being a former resident of this city. But still, do take care :p

Make an appointment with yourself!

For the past few weeks that I became a morning person, I never seemed to enjoy the freshness that the morning used to hold, until last week, when I went for a solitude walk and boy!!! it was fun. Ya! I know we need to enjoy company of others and try to stay away as much as possible from/being a social outcast, but after such a long time I have felt peace within myself. I sensed calmness and serenity within myself which got me thinking about how in whole of my graduation life, I was never alone. One of the most prominent feature of college life is that you always have company. You don’t often get the peaceful time with yourself that you deserve.
Image Credit: Sumaiya

Though time spent with company, and I mean it in the sweetest of tones, is one that we cherish all our life and one mustn’t miss those opportunities, but here we are going to talk about the prospects that being solitude brings to the table. It’s sort of like a wisdom walk of ‘How I met your mother’ fame  and as Ted Mosby would say “I want you to go outside and simply put your hands on stuff that you interact daily, observe the beautiful rustling of leaves, feel the trees’ pulse, listen to the stories the streets are telling you.” I want you to do to the same, but with less dramatics and even less creepiness.

I have even started to look forward to such quality time with myself. The time gives me the chance to reflect upon my previous actions, think hard about a problem and take them down with well-thought out measures.
You can think of this as a modern day sibling of meditation. Meditation has long been known as a method to concentrate your mind and make it more focussed. And, since finding time specifically for meditation is a big impossibility; taking a solitude walk maybe a way to go.  I know that when I started doing this more often, it brought a remarkable positive changes to my whole attitude towards the materialistic world and its devised components.
 
Biggest perks:
* No risk of running out of topics.
* You can be 100% yourself.
* No one can judge you or your opinions.
* Hassle-free thought process.

 

The interesting part of this article is that I wrote most of the drafts whilst on the walks. Mornings are actually perfect time to have these conversations with yourself.  So if you ever need to talk about your problems, dig deep into them and actually need a solution, make an appointment with yourself.

Fixers’ future fixed!

Some days back while going through the newspaper, I was a little concerned about my nation when this piece of news relieved me of my concerns, ‘Spot-fixing in IPL-2013’.
While the monotonicity of ‘Comedy Circus’ kept on increasing, India desperately needed some new way of coping up with the pressures of daily chores. And as they nearly lost all hopes, IPL spot-fixing came to the rescue. Thanks to Sreesanth, Ajit Chandila and Ankeet Chavan’s party needs, we really found some entertainment. Also, Bollywood was feeling kind of left out, so Vindoo Dara Singh joined in for some ecstasy. Sreesanth was reported to have been searching for a heroin to cast her opposite to him-self. Now, his movie might be in jeopardy, but a movie based on him is definitely a thumbs-up. His journey has been one heck of a called-in, thrown-out kind of ride. Right from taking the decisive catch in the finals of T20 world cup or returning respect to Dale Steyn through a six or the controversy with Bhajji, he has never been shy of expressing emotions; perhaps a too ostentatious emotional show-off.
                Meanwhile Comedy Circus producers are surprised that how this controversy is collecting so much attention without much effort; while they have been up their asses working vehemently creating countless seasons after seasons, and still their major viewership is acquired by lazy teenagers who don’t want to get exhausted by working up their way to the remote. The producers are furious; even China’s little peek-a-boo at LOC gained better attention. The producers are now contemplating new dimensions for accretion of lost ratings even going as jejune as hiring Sunny Leone for the hosting or Navjot Sidhu for stand-ups.
                Dawood is also not happy on becoming a household name blamed for all illegal activity saying, “It’s not fair. Please cut me some slack. And for god’s sake can someone please explain to Mr. Kisu Kisaan that I had no hand in the robbery in his house.” This was a much awaited reply that was being anticipated from Dawood, after Kisu lodged an FIR last month against Dawood for kidnapping his two bulls.
                It really surprised and shocked everyone to the core, except for the general Indian viewers. Now you are surprised?? nSeriously, ask any paan-wala bhaiya in your locality and he will brief you about how he had a hunch that this IPL was fixed. Though he may not explain what spot-fixing exactly is….but neither can half the population of cricket crazy clique. Isn’t it true?
                The verdict is far from over; there are still names to be unfolded and more entertainment in line to be served freshly to the ever-cynic Indian-kind. Many startling revelations are just waiting to be unfolded….just wait for it!

LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’

We are social animals, we tend to form groups, everyone has a group of friends where he’s comfortable and can hurl as much abuses as he is capable of. Also, no matter how much creepy the teasing gets, one has to imbibe every bit of it. Groups can’t be completed without that person who gets teased the most, the guy with the best relationship advices (but oddly he’s still single), the guy who gets virtually-raped every year at holi…
                The sort of person that I am going to talk about is the mix with shades of a sycophant and a person with a clean image. This person is not bad per se; has a decent level of self-respect, may connect with you with ease, and may be the most talented…..but one thing’s for sure; he’ll be sanguine and charming as hell in his conduct.  I am sure you all have one or two acquaintances possessing these traits. As common as this trait is, as such, it is also not tough to demarcate such qualities in a person.
                When given a task, this person takes on the responsibility with utmost sincerity even if the task is not his cup of tea. Saying ‘NO’ to something wouldn’t cost him anything, but for him, saying no is the only one thing he can’t do. He may fail the task, but renouncing the task is the last thing on his to-do list. I believe that quitting the task and honestly accepting the truth is much better than having to give explanation later. That’s why I look upon such persons with a little caution. There is no shame in relinquishing a little control.
Another scenario where presence of such individuals hurt most is when the person is at some higher position and one seeks help from him. Instead of just clearing his stand, he would give a false impression of trying to help; but instead, in reality, he’s just making you visit him over and over again. It seems as if their motto is “Promise today, equivocation tomorrow”. In India, the babus are infamously popular for such acts. Be it the kutcheris, banks or any ‘Sarkari Suvidha Kendra’, wherever you go, you are queued to be victimised. Indian governance system isn’t un-swayed by this.
                Then there are individuals who can’t deny a favour to a friend on face but try to gain sympathy of randoms by talking behind his back. C’mon yaar, Be a MAN (or Be a wise woman), I strongly suggest you to talk about why you can’t grant him the favour, or why you can’t do his work,; may be he’s a better person than you and he might understand your situation. It’s better to be strong first and say no than having to make efforts to placate the lost friendship and be off the hook later.
                I have seen some girls who don’t quite enjoy the company of certain individuals around her, but she can’t get rid of them, because she can’t have ‘the conversation’, or in simpler terms can’t say NO to them.
Thereby, I am running a collective request to such individuals to please understand what I am trying to say and think about how easier your life can be after you work on the advice.

Preimage

Today I am going to talk about a disease I like to call preimage.
Making out a person just by his first impression is a habit nearly every person has…be it the person working in an MNC, be it the neighbour, be it the shy girl at school, the glass half full guy, 
We all are the victims of this malpractice, and the evil users too…
The first impression of a person (especially a bad one) is stuck so strongly to our minds that even loads of positive work is not conducive of changing that clinging preimage. They don’t realize that humans learn from their mistakes and are worthy of a second chance.
Another common disorder that people have and that’s even gross is making a preimage on the basis of looks of a person.
When God, in his infinite wisdom created us, he wouldn’t have thought that the outer package that he is giving us, would heed so much of importance in the society…the better the outer package, the better the preimage.

A person who may have been your biggest foe may turn out to be gregarious at a later time of your life.
Your best friend is the one that you spent most of your time with and not the one that had the best outer package.

Considering and being aware of what all stupidity, humans are capable of; this one marks out as the most stupid and illogical.

Being on the receiving end sure sucks, and I can tell you by experience, that being on the other end (let’s call him Mr. X) doesn’t bring you any awesomeness either.
The biggest damage is done when you have a day-to-day interaction with the other person. Instead of keeping aside the feelings, X colludes his clandestine emotions with workplace ethics. The first impression image affects his judgement, polluting the thought process, and ultimately leading to inevitable fallout between the two, affecting both individuals. Why restrict this discussion to individuals? Infact forming preimage to a group, company, politicians etc, is a common practice that we all see around quite often. Although the image against present-day politicians is a vicarious feeling backed up by clichés, but it’s still similar to the point that I am focussing in one way or the other.
The solution…ha…well avoiding such an experiment and practising discretion is the first advice and secondly, remember the saying:
                                
                                     “Judging a person doesn’t define who they are;
                                                   It defines who you are”